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How to Use a Bidet

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I have used a bidet. I survived to tell the tale and share my tips and advice with you.

Ooooh look - two toilets for me to use!

Ooooh look - two toilets for me to use!

Have you ever been to a hotel (particularly in Europe) and been confused when confronted with the choice of two toilets? You might think it's very nice of the hotel to provide a drinking fountain next to the toilet, but I wouldn't drink from it if I were you! Closer examination will show you that while it looks like a toilet, the other contraption is in fact a bidet. The word "bidet" means "pony" in French—the idea is that as you might ride a pony, you also might 'ride' this contraption.

A bidet is simply a basin that can be used to clean your bits after you've done your business.

So now that you know that the second toilet is in fact a bidet, what do you do now?

Step One – Use the Toilet.

Well getting down to the nitty gritty, you will have to 'go to the loo' or 'use the bog' first. I'm hoping that you know how to do this! The idea of the bidet is to assist you in cleaning AFTER toilet use.

Do you need to use toilet paper with a bidet?

You can use toilet paper at this point if you prefer, but it isn't actually necessary.

An etching from the 18th Century of ladies using bidets.

An etching from the 18th Century of ladies using bidets.

Step Two – Position Yourself Over the Bidet

Straddle the bidet. This is actually a lot more difficult than it sounds. Essentially you can face any way you want, but I'd advise facing the controls. You should check the general configuration of the bidet before you use it to make sure you are situated in the optimum position.

Important Note: If you've never used a bidet before, it may be a good idea to actually try the controls of the bidet before you go to the bathroom. This will help you avoid soaking yourself, the bathroom, and quite possibly the bathroom ceiling. Bidets are very simple to use, but it's better to be safe than sorry!

Control panel of a medium sophisticated japanese toilet, located in the Asahikawa grand hotel in Asahikawa, Japan.

Control panel of a medium sophisticated japanese toilet, located in the Asahikawa grand hotel in Asahikawa, Japan.

Step 3: Use the Controls.

Most bidets allow you to vary the flow and temperature of the water. Slowly turn on the hot water, and then use the cold water so that you reach a comfortable temperature. I would suggest you test the temperature with your hands, not your bits!

If you didn't try out the controls beforehand, be vary careful—the jets can be quite high-powered. Personally, I place my hands over the jets before turning them on. This way, you can get an idea where the jets will be going, how hot the water is, and how powerful the stream will be. Of course if you want a full shower, ignore the advice!

Step 4: Clean and Dry Yourself (and Wash Your Hands)

With the correct position, you now should have a gentle stream of water moving over your bits. Wash yourself as if you were in a shower—you can use soaps if you wish to.

If you're lucky enough to be in a top hotel, then the bidet may have a built in air-dryer. Otherwise, simply pat yourself down with a towel or toilet paper.

It's always best to rinse the bidet and then wash your hands afterwards.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

Comments

E on November 12, 2012:

I like how all these things I read say "Wash yourself as if you were in a shower". Who uses just their hands to wash in a shower?! I use a loofah sponge and washcloth to make sure everything's clean. Rubbing my bare hands all over a freshly used posterior does not seem particularly cleansing to me...especially without soap.

Stephanie Henkel from USA on August 26, 2011:

Oh, if only I had read this before my first visit to Europe and first encounter with a bidet!

TANJIM ARAFAT SAJIB from Bangladesh on August 26, 2011:

Your hub is full of information....helpful and interesting. Thanks...

Tammy Cornett from Ohio on August 26, 2011:

What an enlightening hub!lol Honestly, though, I had seen bidets on TV, but had no clue how they worked, until now...my husband and I would joke about them, but we never bothered to find out more...

Can't wait to tell him, haha! :)

VENZKHVAM from Milk way galaxy, trying to find a more adventurous place in another galaxy with my great followers on August 25, 2011:

Dear simeyc.

very nice and useful information who travels and stays in big hotels.nice to know in details even though known about this earlier. thanks for sharing.