Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.
Do You Have Annoying Neighbors?
I actually love my neighbors; they are the best. I have never had an issue or a grievance with them. As friendly neighbors, we have each others' backs. This is even true of the annoying ones.
Sure, they might not pick up their garbage can or recycling bins for a few days. They might not mow their lawn until the pets get lost in the tall blades of grass, but my nice neighbors mean well—the majority of the time at least.
Well, except for my neighbor with a sports car. For some reason, he enjoys idling and revving the engine for what seems like hours, but is just many minutes. Long enough to frighten my grandbaby while she is napping, but you know what they say about boys and their toys.
(Just in case my neighbors are reading this, do not take offense. Please do not egg my house—I might need to borrow those eggs!)
Other people aren't as lucky as I am. I've heard many tales from friends and family about how their neighbors are rude, ruthless, and uncaring. I've heard stories of how selfish people can be. It's time for some payback for them. These neighbors won't see you coming because they are too self-absorbed.
How to Make Your Neighbors Miserable
1. You could mow your lawn very early in the morning. Be sure to also use the leaf blower as often as possible. Leave no stone unturned and no leaf visible to the naked eye. You could also use a hedge trimmer or a chainsaw to do some yardwork, the louder the better.
2. You could have a few pizzas delivered to their address. When your neighbor refuses to pay because they didn't order them, tell the delivery driver that you'll buy them at a reduced price instead of them going to waste. Hey, it never hurts to ask.
3. Allow your pets to do their business in your neighbor's yard and don't use a pooper scooper. You could train your dog to poop directly where your neighbor would step out of his car. Yes, that has happened to a friend of mine. It wasn't intentional, just totally rude.
4. Doorbell ditch! Ring your neighbor's doorbell and then hide. Once they go indoors, wait ten minutes and then do it again. Then wait 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes. Then run like heck because chances are they are probably pissed and will be waiting for you on the other side of the door.
5. TP their tree! Tell them it's out of courtesy so now they won't run out of toilet paper. It's a bonus if it rains after you finish the job as that will make quite the mess!
6. Place rubber snakes around their garden beds. Have the video camera ready for when they leap. Post the video on YouTube.
7. Sic the solicitors on them. When a solicitor knocks on your door to sell you something, rave about how much your neighbor likes the product or organization and show them where your neighbor lives. Tell them your neighbor is shy and might need some coaxing to admit it!
8. Late at night, turn up the volume on your stereo and add some karaoke to the mix! Make sure it is not easy-listening music. Heavy metal and techno are great choices!
9. Paint your house a bright yellow. When confronted, go into a rant about how much you love sunshine, and you want to be surrounded by the rays of the sun! As a bonus, you could make your yard blue, and the yellow/blue combination will surely drive your neighbor crazy!
10. Keep your dog outdoors and allow it to bark 24/7. Be sure and give them food and water. You are intentionally trying to annoy your neighbors, but don't neglect your pet.
How to Get Back at Noisy Neighbors
11. Park your car in their parking spot. If they say something just break out into Britney Spears song, "Oops, I Did It Again."
12. B-ball it up. Set up a basketball hoop in your driveway and play b-ball at all hours of the day and night. Dribble the ball as often as you want!
13. Place a telescope near your window. Have it peeking through the curtains. Be sure your neighbor is aware of it. You are officially a "peeping tom."
14. Weed your yard in your swimsuit or your birthday suit. Most people can't pull this off. There is a woman in my neighborhood who mows her lawn in heels and jeans in 90-degree temps; I'll never understand that.
15. Roast a pig in a backyard pit. Be sure the wind is blowing in the direction of your neighbors' open windows. The more smoke the better. Also, you can get a similar effect from having a massive bonfire in your backyard.
16. Place a trail of sugar to your neighbors front porch! The ants will appreciate it, your neighbors won't.
17. Plant a Weeping Willow tree in your yard, but close to your neighbor's property. Watch your neighbor weep as they try to escape the cascading willows to find their way home.
18. Use their garden hose to fill your swimming pool and then have a pool party and invite them.
19. If they have a sprinkler system, redirect their sprinkler heads to water your lawn.
A Movie About Bad Neighbors
More Ways to Annoy Your Neighbors
20. If you live in an apartment and the tenants above you have heavy feet, use your broom handle to bang on the ceiling. While they are sleeping.
21. Bake a plate of brownies and add an extra ingredient that they'll be buzzing about. Be sure your neighbor doesn't have a drug test coming up soon!
22. Prune flowers from their garden and give your wife a bouquet. Who needs a florist?
23. Why pay for a wireless network? Just use your friendly neighbors unsecured Internet access!
24. Borrow their Sunday paper. Read it. Clip the coupons. Return their paper.
25. Be adults. Call a truce. Shake hands. Proceed to #1 and start again.
How to Make Your Neighbors Move
If you're really looking to take it to the next level, you can try your hand at doing something that will make your neighbors consider moving. Again, keep in mind these suggestions are all in good fun.
- Start putting out lots of food in your backyard to attract wild animals. Then cut a hole in your fence, so the animals go in your neighbor's backyard.
- While they are away, sneak over and drain their pool.
- Start dumping your food scraps in their yard. Not only will this be hard to clean up but it will attract more wild animals to your neighbor's yard.
- Get your child a drum set and have them practice at odd times throughout the day. Keep your window open or have them practice outside. The noise will drive your neighbors crazy.
- Hang a bunch of wind chimes on the outside of your house. That way when it gets windy, your neighbors won't be able to get a quiet moment.
- Give your neighbors a pair of Bluetooth speakers as a gift. Then use your device to blast music into the speakers at random times during the day. You can easily sync your device to the speakers so long as you are not too far out of range. You can also blast creepy sounds to make your neighbors think their house is haunted.
Neighbors From Hell
Bonus Tip to Annoy Your Neighbors
Start a Facebook group for your neighborhood. Each time a neighbor voices their opinion, pounce on them and ridicule their post . . . just for the fun of it!
Instead of encouraging friendly conversation, see who can be the first one to piss off the other members. Chances are you could weed out the most annoying neighbors within this group.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2012 Linda Bilyeu
andi on August 11, 2020:
so we have our neighbors right in front of our house and to get to the mail box we have to go in her yard and she tells us to get out of her yard and to stop leaving the gate door open!!!!!
Baby Pookie on August 11, 2020:
Has anyone heard about a device called the Mosquito?? It is an ultrasonic noise machine that emits a decibel that kids and i think people under 30 find unbearable. I would like to know where to purchase one of these or something similar as i just found out that schools in my area will not be opening so it means street hockey with pucks pinging my car and house and soccer so balls will be hitting my windows all to the glee of the parents who think their kids are so athletically gifted. To all the people who think these posts are mean spirited perhaps you would like to spend a day or two in our circumstance and see how long you last--we are not posting because we have great neighbors-we are posting because our neighbors are making our lives a living hell and even making it impossible for us to sell our houses or live a happy life. The parents are disrespectful pigs and think they own the neighborhood so thank you to all that have posted helpful suggestions.
Bearly Tame on August 07, 2020:
Create a long stick with a j type hook.
Buy fish from a Mexican market. The whole fish will be frozen. When the coast is clear place fish on hook and finagle it into the gutter. Inside the shrubbery along the walk way to the door. What a pleasant way to reach the front door, being assailed by the rotting odor.
Terry on August 07, 2020:
On one day of the week I had a tree service come to cut down two very tall pine trees in my backyard. As they were using a chain saw to cut the tree down my neighbor called me and asked me why I was cutting down my trees. I told her I didn't want them anymore because of all the pine needles and pine cones were dirtying my yard thats why. She was mad and now she doesn't talk to me anymore. She also said that her clients loved looking out her home window and see the tree branches blowing in the wind.
Mcguyver on August 04, 2020:
Simply an AM CB Radio thats been peaked and tweaked to swing more than 4watts and then hook the monitor speaker when you talk and key the mic... that causes terrible feedback and put a deep cycle 12 volt marine battery with it. Tape it all together put a magnet mount antenna on top of the cb place it somewhere they cannot find it heck put it in a box bury it and put the antenna somewhere in the trees ;p THAT DRIVES em CRAZY because any speaker hooked up or not gives off that feedback because its being transmitted at 45 watts. Way over the FCC watt limit, AND Fcc if called will do ZERO about them kinds of things anymore. They are on their own! Have fun! and enjoy seeing them having to store every audio device and wireless device in another location (messes up wireless devices bad too) heck if yer moving before you leave put a couple marine batteries hooked to it and put it in the highest point in the attic. Works fab... washes everyones electronics for blocks... esp if your near power lines and cable lines it disrupts all of it... tv internet.. 60hz freq on the 125vac lines its wreaks havok! Happy irritating!
Call child protective service on lawn kids on August 04, 2020:
Where are their parents and go back to run on your own lawn entitled a-hole. Parents who don’t watch their kids are neglecting them. I watched kids do stupid things and dumb parents stand by that. The type of breeders that need to be Nixed ASAP.
Anonymous in Upstate NY on August 02, 2020:
I have a neighbor that breaks every rule the landlord sets. He has knifed my convertible top.
I'm going to get some bright colored glitter and mix it with super glue and pour it on his car.
Hate my neighbour's on July 25, 2020:
My neighbour's always have loud music playing that I can hear upstairs far away from the garden and and they swear even tho i have young kids and talk really really really loudly and they also have a really really really loud dog yappy dog who barks and yaps all day long. there house is at the bottom of the garden! thank you for the tips!!
Kindness works better on July 20, 2020:
"Getting your neighbor to Move???? Seriously. I hope you are never my neighbor, because YOU are rather rude, yourself, suggesting all of these offenses. You do realize there are those who think these are "just a prank or joke". And then, they become neighborhood nuisances. People need to get a job and get a hobby. A USEFUL hobby.
David on July 19, 2020:
Or just feed the birds. Noisy birds will drive your neighbors crazy.
Suzy on July 17, 2020:
I am from middle east and moved to Serbia 7 years ago.I never undrestand why European and American people cant have forgiveness?
My crazy neighbor is constantly insulting my nationality and flattiering our car and we dont have any proof to record him to police.
His problem is that my 2 years old son is walking at home and he cant tolerate kids. Lonely people living just in their own world and spending time to hate others and hurt them.
There are so many beautifull things in world that helps us to tolerate others more instead of couraging to hate more.
How crazy people can hate a 2 years old kid!!
We are living in a bad world.
Julie on July 15, 2020:
I think the best revenge is to get a McCaw and leave the windows open. Those birds have major pipes. Big Smile.
Baby Pookie on July 09, 2020:
I would love to use any one of these great ideas to get some control back in my life after these low life pieces of blank neighbors have made my life a living hell. However, in this day and age where there are cameras everywhere how can i do any of these without having a camera somewhere recording my every movement? Any and all help would be appreciated. This is not an apartment these are single houses just that the noise generated from that house can be heard fifteen houses away-probably more. Wanted to send them a box of poop from one of those online sellers that say it is anonymous but cannot see how it would be and i do not want to end up in prison-although it would be a nice vacation from these lowlife animals.
_^_ on July 07, 2020:
These horrible people called the police because my kids walked through there lawn and turns out it was not even there property
GolightlyHolly on July 06, 2020:
After reading all of these comments, it's easy to see that our planet is overpopulated and it's only going to get worse. All these people....like jamming 12 rats in a shoebox and expecting them to get along?
Hallie on July 05, 2020:
My neighbours are super loud and practice barfing noises 24/7. They also scream swear words a lot. One day, I had enough and got up at 5am to mow the lawn and sing 'i kissed a girl’ as loud as I could.
Ladan on June 16, 2020:
I have a very stupid neighbour. He likes to tell people what they should do, and everyone should follow whatever he wishes. We moved to this house 7 months ago. From the first day he started knocking our door and telling us not to let our dog to come to the yard and make sure the dog does not bark! He asked us not to use our balcony since he likes to sleep till l 11 am. Apparently, he works starts from evening till 3-4 am as he calls Iran and does business through the phone. I have no idea what kind of business he has as the company that he has does not show anything but Consulting. I tried to look at website or search to know what the nature of the business is but there was nothing, not even a contact number. does not even have a proper job. He has a consulting company, but no one knows what kind of counselling he does. I was told his parents are rich and he asks them for money to buy anything he wants. He thinks having money entitle him to boss people around.
I cannot use any of the tips since his house is equipped with Camera. To tell you the truth I don’t even think about using any of the tips on him as I feel sorry for him. He is mentally ill, has extremely low self confidence and many more. The way to cover his short coming he boss people around. He is crazy, to make him mad I do whatever l like in my own house.
anonomyos on June 05, 2020:
I live with my 3 kids and very uncomfortable to clean my garden cut grass they remove all branches weeds and also made entrance to watch i covered it all up and fight over it many times tired need some ideas to get rid of them please kids also uncomfortable to play in our backyard.
Amy on May 27, 2020:
My neighbor claims to have rheumatoid arthritis and therefore hasn't worked for the past 10 years. She's a freakin teacher and has stolen money and continues to steal money from our government. However, for someone with rheumatoid arthritis, she is capable of walking her dog for six hours a day at random times. Sometimes you'll even see her outside at 12:30am.
The thing is: her dog is allowed outside at any time of the day. However, when my family wants to bring our dog outside, she threatens to call animal control (even when our dog is clearly on a leash) because she claims that our loving, friendly dog whom everyone else absolutely adores is "a total menace to society".
The funny thing about her is she weighs roughly over 200 pounds and wears a bright pink jacket every time she goes out for walks. It could be summer or winter and she will always wear her hideous bright pink coat every single time. So, we've came up with a creative way of our own to annoy her:
Every time she comes outside with her dog and we happen to see her, every member in our family pretends to be a "pink elephant" from the movie Dumbo. When she is outside while we are, we will hum the tune of the song and pretend to stomp like an elephant. She hasn't been outside as much lately, and it's wonderful.
Ann on May 25, 2020:
My son handicap man is in a home Becouse of liars naibour s going round telling people my boy noisy when he I'll and in pain now thay trying to get us out of our home 52 years
Cc on May 24, 2020:
I have an upstairs neighbor, and they are so rude. I have 2 toddlers that cant get but a couple hours of sleep at night, and they cant nap during the day because of how loud and rude the neighbors are. Ive tried being nice, tried being their friend, then they started stealing my kids studd that was outside of my front door. So, i put cameras up. They still act the same way regardless. The cops will not do anything about it. Im at a loss of what to do. Ive been looking for a new place but cant find anything right now. So, im legit stuck here. And dont know what to do anymore.
Carol on May 20, 2020:
I have rude and ignorant neighbors. The best thing you can do is laugh at them, They can’t stand being laughed at. When they try to upset you laugh. I have learned to laugh laugh laugh...Don’t let them know they are getting to you. I made friends with their friends and I found out how to get even. My daddy always told me to be nice. However, when that doesn’t work get even! I have turned my cheek so many times, my head is on backwards. Have fun they can’t stand it. They love misery......
Jeff on May 19, 2020:
Some Indians moved into my neighborhood. They bought the home. No joke now 25 people live in a 3 bedroom 2200 ft home.
Doomhead on May 18, 2020:
Would be MUCH more appreciated if these weren’t all crimes. As terrible as these eejits are, they are NOT worth destroying your life or reputation.
Ordinary Joe on May 16, 2020:
My neighbor is the anal sort you know the type. He has the manicured lawn, retired and devotes 24/7 of his time to his home. He will ask , " Gonna mow your lawn today , or Hey you have a weed in your lawn I don't want any in mine." You get the sort he is the stereo typical " Look at my house." I work, so does my wife we have a nice home but I don't have a golf course lawn nor do I care too.
Ananymous on May 13, 2020:
I'st easy to say and write but to do is not. so go figure.
Art on May 06, 2020:
Completely ridiculous ideas. Most of these will just end up with the neighbour calling by-law officer and you getting in trouble instead. So much for getting back at them.
kirsty on May 06, 2020:
I have 2 neighbours .. one who rents a café which is actually attached to our house, but partitioned and one neighbour who lives next door,
The noise is terrible we politely asked both neighbours to keep the noise down when possible, the café slam and bang everything and the owners have terrible language, when I complained to my landlord he spoken to them and now they do it even more, we heard them saying 'I don't give a **** ill bang more' its just so silly and annoying. The other neighbour plays rubbish music really loud but also has a baby who is constantly crying, yes...we are moving as soon as we can.
Chris on May 05, 2020:
Nope, these ideas are wimpy. My neighbors are so self absorbed and oblivious they'd never get it.
Brooklynbomber on May 04, 2020:
I have a Neighbor From Hell (NFH) living next door to me and its a townhouse so we share a wall. This bitch tried to kick one of my cats and threatened to poison him! I told her if she ever tried to harm or kill any of my animals I would kill her. Now I have 2 court dates because I am being accused of communicating a threat!
Shakes on May 03, 2020:
All these are far too timid
Lynn Stephens on April 30, 2020:
Life is so short if you can MOVE.
Louise Brewer on April 28, 2020:
I have a crazy upstairs lady. Who is really nasty to me. She says I don't fit in the block. She wants me to move I'm at my wit's end. IV done nothing wrong. Wot should I do? Please help
Incognito human on April 27, 2020:
My next door neighbor always uses our driveway to get dropped off, instead of using their own. I’ve place nails on my driveway now. Definitely gonna use the sugar tactic
Tasha parent on April 13, 2020:
I have a large family that lives next to me. It’s a four bed apt they have 12-15 people that live there. In addition a child that is most definitely satins spawn. To top it off as if there isn’t enough people living there they have company everyday and they bring kids too. Oh what fun. Instead of their shoes being taken off while inside, nope it’s stomp the yard all day above my head. I’m starting to think they know a lot of homeless people. Considering there’s always so many piling in next door. The floors are hard wood. So when ever demon child throws his tantrums we hear the entirety of it. Furniture being thrown over toys being thrown on the floor. A keyboard being stomped on. It’s so much fun!!! Not to mention the high pitched screaming he does. Throwing of heavy object down the stairs. This kid is 2-3 years of age.
Kelly on April 06, 2020:
I have two annoying neighbors they get on our nerves, they always beat our puppy and that is not right because of them our other dog died (they killed it) from the beginning when they started living here they told us that they hated dogs and puppies but they didn't tell us that their murderers. I hate them so much , why would they kill our dog who has done nothing to them is that right now they want to kill our puppy.
Angelina on March 31, 2020:
We have some stupid niebors,they are to noisy and so fat that they shack the floor,the dautor is a big jerk and the dad wears pink water shoes,so one day me and my mom had some fun at 12 o-clock am till 12 o-clock am the next night because it was april fools.
kate on March 31, 2020:
we have a neighbor who is apart of the lovely HOA, and thinks he is the boss of the whole neighborhood. We just drive up on his lawn and idle for a good minute and then park beside his house on the trim of the grass, cant do anything about it, except accept the tire tracks on his yard.
Beatrice weathington on March 21, 2020:
I' m 76 and my neighbors gets right under my bed and shocks me with ? And makes these weird sounds .
Michelle on February 05, 2020:
There are some people who are mean, just to be mean. You don't always have to do something to make a person focus on you. They thrive on ruining anothers life. They can't survive any other way.
Maya on January 28, 2020:
Hey, using your pets or other animals is not a good idea, especially number 10- keep your dog outside and let it bark 24/7... I mean poor thing.. why should the dog bark for so long, they are not happy to be in such state....
Also- keep in mind that some people are mean and dont care about animals, they'll might try to poison them. So- I wouldn't use animals as my "weapon" against anyone.
Suzie from Carson City on January 22, 2020:
Linda Sue.....I think of you every day, SFAM...and send positive vibes your way to bring you optimum health! I MISS you so much.
I'd give anything for you to ANNOY the hell outta me right now!
PaisleyMoonbeams on January 22, 2020:
We live in a development of 70s raised ranch homes. We have been there since the early 90s, the new neighbors next door moved in about 9 months ago.
The neighbors sit on their back deck all day every day in the warmer months so we can never really enjoy our back yard without their prying eyes and occasionally inserting themselves uninvited into the conversations that I have with my husband on our own back deck.
We open our pool on Memorial day weekend, and last year was no exception and of course it was under their ever watchful gaze.
Early the very next morning, I was on my back deck and I hear " hey! Over here..." It was the neighbor wife, just letting me know that HER kids would be bugging ME to go in THE pool all summer and how (young spoiled girl child) already had her swimmies lined up in the garage waiting...
I paused for a long while and just looked at her and finally asked if she was trying to invite herself into our pool because it sure sounded like she was and then went on to mention that although we would really like to, we don't feel comfortable with strangers in our pool. She proceeded to give me a super condensed 5 minute synopsis of her life and I turned and walked away while she was still talking.
They had a housewarming party a few weeks before this incident which they not only never extended an invitation to us to be neighborly, they thought it was ok to have their guests park on our front lawn so sucking up to me to just use the pool didn't work.
Now they still watch us in the pool and just glare at us. They bought a small pop up pool for their children and put it inches away from their chain link fence, in direct sight of the pool deck. They bought similar pool toys within days of us getting them, and acted like they weren't going to allow us to enjoy it in peace if they weren't going to be able to enjoy it as well...
I'm currently planning 70 feet of yard curtains in the treeline on our property parallel to the fence, blocking their view and restoring my peace...
BLUE on January 19, 2020:
STUPID SOLUTIONS TO REAL LIFE PROBLEMS! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A SITUATION WITH MAJOR HEALTH ISSUES AND MINIMAL RESOURCES/INCOME TO MOVE!
Harry on January 13, 2020:
I live next to some of the most ignorant people, they are lazy and will not do anything in the way of work to maintain the house they live in. The old fat dad let his stepson and wife and son move in because they can't support themselves. Nw they al sit around and smoke cigarettes all day and eat pizzas. The kid looks like casper the ghost because the lazy mom will not let him go outside. They throw their cigarette butts in the storm drain like hogs and park their cars all over the street blocking traffic view. They suck
Dan on December 13, 2019:
Pool salts are amazing they rust out colourblind/galvanised roofs like a hot knife through butter, only good if you’re neighbours have a metal roof. Throw a handful on each night
SHERALD HUDSON on December 10, 2019:
I live in a Townhouse, I have been living here 4 yrs now when my Landlord first bought them...I was the third Tenant to rent one...4 yrs later, I have never bothered anyone, never started any drama or mess...Never have been a problem Tenant...New next door neighbor letting her visitors park behind my car so that I can't back out to leave. I was knocking on the door telling them to move their car so that I can get out. Visitors getting mad because I am telling them to move their car and starts an Argument with me...I have calked the Police several times for this...My next door neighbor are over here smoking Weed and letting visitors bring Animals in her home when it's on the Lease to not do that....My next door neighbor waits until she has visitors and wants to pick, walking by me laughing out loud, continues to let her visitors park behind my car and laughs about it when they does these things....Over here acting like 5 year old Elementary Kids....I reported it to the Landlord and Property Manager and both of them don't want to hear my side of the story....I sent 7 pictures of 7 different cars to show proof they are Parking Behind my vehicle blocking me from leaving my home...There are 2 sides to a story especially if a Tenant shows proof...The Landlord and Property Manager still doesn't want to hear what I have to say....I will be buying me A SPY CAMERA!!! When my Lease is up, I am moving...To keep me from hurting someone and getting kicked out of my home, I will move....
Jane on October 25, 2019:
Omg I live in a block of 8 townhouses and i own the place but this bitch right nest to me has complained about my back wire door clanging in the summer, noisey conversations in my yard.they are not..now over eyes Ive stuck on my windows as I caught an elderly neighbor peering in my window ...hes old, just wanted to make the point and now..complaints over the eyes so they are now everywhere.
got my recording device ready on October 24, 2019:
Let's talk about annoying neighbors. First of all I am the only white person on this street and apparently my name is fing white beyatch! Haha. We have child abuser kiddy corner from us. We have open intoxication house full of men with their screaming kids and yes especially disturbing when the little girl is screaming. Always have phone out ready to dial the police!. We have a guy who thinks he has a club at his house on the corner. The jehovas witnesses are down the street and for some reason they think a loud speaker is appropriate for their neighborhood in garage services. And then there is my complex. We have a chick who wears the same cut off jeans with panty hose underneath and a staring problem a couple duplex's down. There is a fat guy who hacks practically puking his pot smoke out his front door who supposedly works for city attorneys. A really fat dude with a plumber butt living in the garage behind me and would routinely pull all of his schtuff out of the garage have a picnic then put it all back EVERYDAY for a few days then proceeded to make his home sweet home with an extension chord running to the community laundry. But my two immediate neighbors are both in the running for the WTF awards. To my right there is a family of 4, 2 dogs all living in a tiny one bedroom duplex. If that wasn't bad enough the father chain smokes on the front yard which is basically my front yard because we are so close. That means smoke in my windows and doors daily. His two sons have jobs enough to live at home in the one bedroom yet drive around in brand new Cameros, both of them. For work one son is a pizza delivery driver. Now one of the sons has picked up a weed habit and smokes so much pot is fills up my entire side of the duplex. There are cig butts left all over the front of the sidewalk and even once the old man threw his cig so that it was in a pile of woodchips still smoking. Needless to say it started on fire. I often ask myself why are they still living here. If it wasn't for the dog pee on my new plants and the pools of spit that they leave I
OrneryUnicorn on October 23, 2019:
This all started because I'm the bad neighbour who just moved into a new subdivision with the rule breaking house colours and because my house is still new, the dirt piles in the back yard (from excavation) are sitting there waiting to be moved so we cannot build a fence until the dirt is gone and that requires the machinery to go through. I have an 8 year old Jack Russell with Small Dog Syndrome and an anxious hyperactive 8 month old Border Collie. For the past 9 months living here has been a nightmare because I can't let my dogs out, the young one just likes to jump on people and babies, she gets excited about babies. The old grumpy one just tells big dogs to f**k off aggressively but has never drawn blood. So this yuppi townie (we live in a rural area with new subdivisions and I'm technically a yuppi townie trying to get away from the ones in the big city) walks past my house to get to the walkway next to my property with her fancy pram and big designer froo froo pomerian fluffy thing (nothing against the dog tho, all dogs are cool) and during the chaos of my life, my idiot puppy got excited, didn't listen to me and was just out of control and for some reason my older more well behaved dog didn't listen either and saw her dog as a threat and viciously told it to not come near the house. No blood was drawn and the baby was alright and I was completely apologetic and shocked beyond belief and accepted I was at fault... Until I had never met such a crappy personality in my life I assume she's got baby brain or she's just a shitty person, ignore me but stands outside my house with her back towards me ignoring my apology and me trying to talk to her about the incident and stood there txting on her phone. The rudeness and lack of respect I would've thought she wouldve been OK and understood like most people that dogs are just like that and no blood or mauling. Next minute a council person shows up to my house to talk about the incident and I broke down in tears. He said she didn't want to but felt concerned. I didn't call the council to my last neighbours in a rough area and they were beating their dog. I called them when I saw it more than once. I didn't call council on a roaming dog with late registration, instead I caught him then went around looking for the owner. But this person didn't want to talk face to face and made me feel so unworthy of her time Jesus. So today she walked past and I had my little dog outside (the one that attacked) with a lead and for some reason he was super well behaved, I was so proud of my boy i couldn't believe how good he is that I could trust him again without the other muppet running around causing chaos. The fence still isn't up yet but the reaction from that woman made me so mad I called her a c*nt and a total b*tch. She muttered sh*t and sprint walked away then stood outside my house ignoring me with her back to me and texting again and I'm like f**********King hell this cowardly c*nty b**** no decency to even acknowledge she called the council and can't even talk to me. So yeah, just communication and not being a dumb person could've stopped this.
A Canmore Ridge - Concord NH resident on October 15, 2019:
This place SUCKS. I have a neighbor above me who SLAMS his toilet seat AT ALL HOURS. He STOMPS around and it is so bad my pictures are falling off the walls. He now has a girlfriend he moved in - after his boyfriend moved out - She is a Midget with a Dwarf face who thinks she is Miss Canmore Ridge. Well she STOMPS too. Guess they are both Frustrated. Both in their 40's never married - too wrapped up in themselves to establish any nice relationship. I am so frustrated I am beside myself. I think they must be frustrated as well - he is unsure of his past relationship with his B-friend and she is frustrated because of this. Oh well, hope they move - SOON. There is no need to be so hateful. It is totally unexceptable behavior. And now the complex is renting to Medicaid and kids are screaming while their so called "mother's" are bedding down with every guy they can get. Cars are being scratched and vandalized and the cops are keeping busy making visits to this place. I need to make a change. I have never rented before and it shall be the last time. This is a horrible place but oh, the place is heated and WE GET NO HEAT AT ALL. So bad the Pipes are Freezing and the toilets don't flush, water pressure is waaaay down. Gone through many managers and it's going from bad to worse. Time to move out of this HELL HOLE! Bye Canmore Ridge - you better pick up the TRASH and clean out here.
Alexander on October 07, 2019:
Yes, totally brilliant, people are usally not bad, but due to some reasons , they are just craps, fuck them, they are just screwed me down for over 8 years, and now it's my turn, thanks for the ideas,now i guarantee they will never exist from now.
Shaun on September 24, 2019:
People. People. Calm down. It was a humorous article.
David Davidson. on September 23, 2019:
This is a highly irrespeonsible article and many of the "creative ideas" will likely end with you having the police, animal control or a government worker banging at your door.
Most places dont allow loud noise after a certain time, whether it be caused by a pet or kareoke.
Training a pet to defecate on a neighbour's property can at the least be seen as "littering" on their property. Of thry step in it, be prepared to cover the bill for a new pair of shoes.
None of these ideas are particularly wise. They will get you in trouble. Heaps of it.
Better to *not* be noticed. For example, if they are married hire a hooker off craigslist to visit one hour before you know the wife goes out to work, that should make their marriage somewhat rocky and provided you.called via an untracable service, you are in the clear.
Property damage is more than likely to result in an arrest, especially in the age of small, hidden security cameras.
Anonymous on September 21, 2019:
PLEASE NEVER advise anyone to use their pet to annoy neighbours by tethering to cause nuisance barking. This is CRUEL to your pet, and secondly it may result in your pet being poisoned in revenge.
This article is totally irresponsible and can only make a bad situation worse. NEVER USE YOUR DOG AS A WEAPON, IT IS VERY UNFAIR TO THE POOR PET.
Anonymous on September 17, 2019:
My neighbor is 84 years old and she is the boss of the neighborhood. She is a evil old witch neighbor from Hell. She made all of her stalkers to do the dirty work for her to harass me and my mom for no reason and she don't do it herself. Still the dumb stalkers do it for her. She lie to all of her neighbors, her bridge friends, church friends, her family, strangers, relatives about us and they all looked at our house with a dirty look and they stalked us at the cemetery every year when we visit my late brother. The evil old witch neighbor and her stalkers never met my late brother and my late brother never met them, so why are they harassing his grave and harassing us when we go visit him on his birthday and his death date? We never do that to them, so what is their problem? The evil old witch neighbor lied to everyone about us constantly and they believed her lies. Unbelievable! What can we do with her and she refused to stop? She go to church every Sunday and she never get sick. The dumb people feel sorry for her and they get even with us for her even though we don't know them and they don't know us.
No on August 01, 2019:
A line of sugar?
Oooooo youre quite the threat.
Gloria on July 29, 2019:
My neighbor threatens to kill my spouse all the time , has 8 vehicles unmoved parked up and down the street, yells fagot bitch at my husband and yells if you don’t move I will make your life a living hell, damaged vehicles my property stares at us when we are out in our own yard. Tells my husband to go out in the street so he can kill him. 15 yrs of this. Nothing ever happens to him. I have cameras documentation etc.
Alyssa from Ohio on July 29, 2019:
This is hilarious! I've had some unfortunate neighbors in the past, who would stay up late, singing and making a lot of noise into the wee hours of the morning.. this happened when I had a newborn and lived in a set of townhouse apartments. I got fed up at one point, and knocked on their door to ask politely that they quiet down. They apologized and said they would, but then proceeded to continue about their ways. Karma is a fine lady. A few months afterward, one of the girls in that apartment actually fell through the stairs and the fire dept had to come and get her out. haha! These same neighbors would also steal our internet to illegally download music and who knows what else. We had a pretty strong antivirus/antihacker program at the time and their computer ended up getting fried when they disregarded the pop up message that stated not to proceed. This was years and years ago. Thankfully, since moving, we have been blessed with really amazing neighbors. Our neighbors now are more like treasured family to us now. I love your creative and fun article!
... on July 27, 2019:
You guys seriously think you have it hard.. huh? My evil neighbor set out poison to kill my cat.. she died yesterday, poor innocent baby.
Pissed on July 25, 2019:
I can't use any of this garbage. I'm in the country, have no neighbors on my left or right, but the Problem Neighbor is diagonally across the street from me. He's woken me up, with the apocalyptic roaring of his stupid truck, almost every day, for almost 2 years.
Can you imagine what this can do to a person's sanity?
There isn't anything i can do about it. He's related to the goddamned sheriff. His yard isn't easy to do anything at, and not be seen or caught. He can't be reasoned with or safely talked to, because he thinks he's entitled to do as he pleases. And, man, it pleases the hell out of him, to rev and roar that stupid fucking truck, to its brink.
Seems that all I can do is cry, think of evil shit to do to him/the truck, wish for his death, and beg "the universe" to either destroy the truck or the guy.
I just want 8 hours of sleep, once or twice a week. But can't have that, because that motherfucker enjoys a truck that sounds like 3 million helicopters in unison.
noodle on July 25, 2019:
I have a neighbor who keeps bothering my parents about our tree. Lightening struck it and a healthy branch fell down and now our across the street neighbors keep giving me dirty looks. It wasn't anyone's fault, and now our tree is being chopped down (it's healthy) and we keep getting passive aggressive letters from them.
I just want to get on their nerves for at least a little bit of payback.
I need more ideas because they have doorbells with cameras on them.
Also, one thing that I found annoyed neighbors is skateboarding up and down their driveway :)
Melissa on July 21, 2019:
Ugg.. extremely lame, not well thought out.. and some illegal and dangerous. Did a teenager write this?
870 on July 13, 2019:
Very , very , lame ideas.
Aj on July 05, 2019:
i have to awful neighbors (they live on both sides of me), ive seen them both do drugs, one tried to break into my house (police dont care anymore) and the other constantly parks in my driveway. i might partake of some of these ideas
Cameron.L.Roylance on July 02, 2019:
My neighbor just shouts at me saying "oi you keep the noise down ive got kids trying to sleep hear" so shes sucsessfuly annoyed a 10 year old to the point i want to punch her
Kaye on June 12, 2019:
I have arthritis in my feet which affects my balance, and late-on-set MS, which affects my balance, I have glaucoma and a heart condition and I have a nasty neighbour, my age, that always has something nasty to say to me whenever she feels like speaking directly to me. It is getting so bad that her nasty comments are actually having a physical reaction in my body.
Mike on May 13, 2019:
Mike how about if they have a eyesore on the street curb and you call a curb alert to have it removed in the middle of the night or how about at 2 or 3 in the morning on a hot night spray pepper gas in there air conditioner
Mor on May 04, 2019:
This gave me a huge laugh. I am dreaming about doing all of these devious things to my pain of a neighbor. Wish I had the guts to really do them!
Anonymous on April 30, 2019:
We have live in our neighborhood for 6 years now. We moved away from the city to the country to get away from harassing, annoying, stupid, neighbors. We are all on 2 acre parcels. More than enough room to get away from idiots I thought. So 2 years ago our awesome older neighbors moved. We got a trespassing, stealing fruit, harassing, idiot neighbor move in that though a portion of my property was hers. Only because the old neighbor was normal and never had issues with the property line and over stepping his grounds or being anoing. Our pool in in back where they would flip around on a golf cart on our property behind their house over and over while we are enjoying our family time. I have 6 kids and older girls and that is just weird. He would just look and look and have his son in the cart too just staring. I asked them to stop when we are in the back swimming nicely so many time and they just kept on every time.
One Sunday afternoon when on back with our kids to just F ing stop. She came down to my gate tried to get in and I said get off my property and she said no it mine. How is my driveway and gate to pool hers? I came out with a baby in my hands said it again and she went to hit me on my property and almost hit the baby but I stepped back. My husband came out said get inside. I did as she was screaming like a crazy lady. He talk to her husband quietly and said we are putting up a fence. He said fine but I am not paying for it. So we had a survey and fence went in on our property 6 inches in. When it was going in she came down and threatened workers to stop work. Called the cops on me to make it stop. Nothing ever came of that. Then one week later her big dog came down on our driveway barking scarring my kids. I said get inside to the kids or I’ll kick it in it but. She called cops out again still nothing. Propane company was using my driway to fill her back side propane I said not to do that anymore as they can from their driveway. Called the cops on me again still nothing I did wrong. Now fast forward a year or so not seen her fat ass or his. Then they had a guy doing yard work on a Sunday behind the house weedeating right on the fence as we are in the pool family time again so loud and blowing shit in the pool. The guy looked at me and I did a motion to stop. She called the cops again and nothing. What can I do about the cop calling she does. Do I go to the sheriff to file a complaint? I don’t know? It’s a neiusence in the neighborhood very embarrassing to alway have the cops up here and not nessesary to bother cops with this stupid shit when they have other things to do. It’s using cops to harass me and my family since she can’t since we put the fence in. On top of it all they block me in my driveway with big van so I can’t get out to get kids off the bus, trespass, go to hit me and my baby, have a video camera facing our driveway and back yard and I don’t call the cop because I am not that type of person and won’t stup to that level. Get this she is a family and marriage counselor. Really? And she is trying to distroy our lives. Please give some advice on how to take care of this issue. Kindly ❤️
CURLEWST on April 22, 2019:
The renters next door are nasty knowalls who push the boundaries with parking illegaly all the time! I will get them ticketed and call the council everyday. I own my home, I keep my clean theirs is a shitbox and I spent 5 years getting the street parking signage fix only to have these 24 something suit themselves! Just leave like all the ferals who lived there before you ... please GOD please!! Or better yet please council rubbish truck man take out their Noddy cheap plastic cars!!!!!
Rie20707 on April 21, 2019:
I live in an older community (older referring to the homes, not the people) and there are a few rental homes in close proximity that are the most annoying people.
Many do things on your list and to have to go and talk to each of them will infuriate me to the point of not being civil. It should be common sense, but common sense is the least common thing.
The neighbors living a couple of houses away used to tether their two dogs in the backyard next door to me when no one was living there.
There were 3-4 people living in that home, all appeared to be single people living together (3 females and 1 male). One of the girls who is still living there is extremely loud, ratchet and ghetto AF.
She started a fight in the front yard with two other females last summer. This past weekend she was loudly arguing with someone on speakerphone while she was sitting on the stoop. She is the most ghetto trashbox.
Now to the next door neighbor which is a family of 5 - mom, dad, 2 sons (17 and 18 y.o.) and 1 daughter about 12.
For the first few months they began tethering their cute dog in the backyard, especially while the 18 y.o. son would play basketball. The dog would bark and whine.
My other neighbors called animal control, because they got fed up with the incessant dog barking. It bugged me, but not to extent to call animal control. I have 2 dogs, but I don't let them bark incessantly.
Part of the backstory on why they were tethering their dog. The idiots who were renting the other house that kept tethering their two dogs on that property when it was empty damaged the entry gate and took it off of the hinges.
So the next door neighbors opted to tether their dog to keep him from escaping the yard. Well the dad asked me one day when I was out back trying to get one of my dogs to come inside - if I had called animal control. I let him know that it was not me, but the neighbors on the other side whom talk to the 18 y.o. son pretty often.
Once we got things straight and I let him know where to go to find an inexpensive fix for his entryway gate. Then came this past weekend/easter. The 18 y.o. doesn't work, doesn't go to schooll and he does not seem to suffer from any type of mental imbalance.
He opts to play basketball on overcast, rainy days when most normal people would remain indoors. It wouldn't deter me if the d@mnded basketball goal was not outside of my bedroom window. The constant d@mn dribbling.
I've been studying and up late doing homework; and here he comes at 8am on Sunday. Saturday it was so cloudy and rainy, that I nodded off for a nap only to be jarred awake hearing him outside screaming in excitement while playing basketball.
So to get jarred awake at 8am on Sunday, I was highly irritated. I'm learning to blast loud Polka music from a bluetooth speaker facing outward. See this past week between being jarred awake over the weekend. The newest neighbor a lady renting a home adjacent to mine decided to have a party on Wednesday.
Her party was mainly held out in the backyard after midnight until after 2am. The men's voice were loud as they were yelling and laughing loudly. Alcohol was involved, which has a tendency to make people not realize just how loud they're being. So needless to say by the time the weekend rolled around I was already irritated, but to have "whack hoop dreams" dribbling and shooting and waking me up has led me to hate all of them equally.
I will be remixing loud polka music and I have 4 more bluetooth speakers to add to the mix. I will blast it during the day and as long as they play to drive the point home. The saddest part about having to live around more renters than owners is that typically renters of homes like that tend to have that entitled mindset. They very seldom show common courtesy. They come in and do the most when it relates to be disrespectful and just over shytty people.
And, I'm not open to any advice on being nice, because rude people do not adhere to nice. They only back down when they are trumped with rudeness.
B on April 14, 2019:
But neighbors live across the street
A. Hill on March 17, 2019:
You can sue for anything CossittLaw, no one cares until you actually win. Until then buzz off.
We can BBQ all we want, that’s not a crime it’s fair use of your own land. What law makes you think you can tell people what methods they can cook on their land? Arrogant duche
Charlie on February 23, 2019:
They just be edges
firstname.lastname@example.org on January 20, 2019:
I agree with Shannon below. "This is the most stupid article I have ever read. Each one of these breaks city bylaw codes and could bring some hefty fines... Or are just plain illegal... " I've been practicing law for 32 years and have 2 lawsuits now pending against the group home next door.
The ideas suggested in this article are mostly illegal, poor judgement and likely to backfire. I'm very disappointed to even read such ideas, this is very irresponsible advice.
"13. Place a telescope near your window. Have it peeking through the curtains. Be sure your neighbor is aware of it. You are officially a "peeping tom."
15. Roast a pig in a backyard pit. Be sure the wind is blowing in the direction of your neighbors open windows. The more smoke the better. Also, you can get a similar effect from having a massive bonfire in your backyard."
Item 13 is most likely criminal under the law of most states and also subjects you to civil liability for invasion of privacy. Item #15 is one of the basis of my lawsuit vs. the neighbors - nuisance.
Really poor article.
Live in Hell on January 20, 2019:
I have pure evil neighbors. If you are not part of their click the evil begins. In order to be part of the group you must comply and report anyone who does anything within there own yard and house. I refused to comply. I’m not reporting people because they want to build a simple shed or change a back yard swing to a newer one. So now I am the scarlet letter wearing neighbor who deals with nasty, mean spirited evil neighbors . Any little nasty thing they can do they will. They have a huge driveway , we don’t and every time they come and go backing there trailers, campers etc our vehicles seem to always have damage but I can’t prove it but it’s quite obvious. Snow storm comes we are buried in snow from city plows yet they plow (they have a plow on their truck)everyone around us leaving us in a mountain of snow That’s evil. But funny thing is as evil as they are and that was just an example of some of what they do , I feel sorry for people to have such a dark heart and hatred. They are very very sad.
Yowzer on December 24, 2018:
I dont like lowering myself . But some people take it there ya know . My neighbors are jealous because I have the better apartment with a patio . They live above . I keep going threw this problem last neighbors moved I played " the doors " religiously loud for months . Now problem is new neighbors are worse . Time to brake out my bass guitar and amp . Turn UP. Cause I aint rolling.
Debra Roberts from Ohio on December 18, 2018:
I could not love this more! Nicely articulated!
Blue Finkle on November 24, 2018:
Neighbors are loud partying scumbags. Talking to them just made it worse. They're back patio is real close to my corner wall. I noticed that the smoke from my tiki torch was going over the wall as they were having a party. They kept yelling, loud music, etc. I remembered I had scraped up a very large dead cat from the road several days earlier and knew it was pretty ripe. The cat was inside a sealed garbage bag. Since I saw the tiki torch smoke going over the wall it gave me an idea. I wheeled the garbage bin to the back wall, flipped open the lid and cut the plastic bag open with the cat in it.... OMG, was it a smelly rotten mess. Within 15 minutes they shut the party down and went in the house. I few of their guests might have gotten ill and vomited.....
Shannon on November 24, 2018:
This is the most stupid article I have ever read. Each one of these breaks city bylaw codes and could bring some hefty fines... Or are just plain illegal... Drug your neighbour, really???
Steven on November 10, 2018:
If the dumb ass is out running around the yard in the middle of the night in underware. Hes probably barefoot. Put lots of tacks in the yard in the spot he keeps visiting
Colleen on November 01, 2018:
Our neighbor set off her car alarm at 8:40 on halloween nigbt because she wanted us to shut down halloween! !! She didnt even hand out candy!!!
We moved to the county to avoid neighbors. But stil on October 31, 2018:
Moved to the county to avoid neighbors, but still ened up with two of the worst!!!
van j. price on October 29, 2018:
Why would you do this I hate NEIGHBORS I love my PRIVACY...
Dreemsnake on October 22, 2018:
My neighbor mow, blows, and weed wacks every morning at 8 o’clock I have Lyme disease so I don’t sleep very well and don’t fall asleep until about 3am and my bedroom is right next to their house. They set up both of their roof gutters so they go under our fence and drain into our yard, and it’s weakening our rock wall. They crappy play music loudly. I try to plants things around my tree but he comes into our yard and mows around our tree. There are many more things but I’m so tired from another morning of mowing and my head is pounding. The grass and leaves are still soaked at this hour! My husband won’t let me complain because he doesn’t want trouble. We’ve already got trouble! I’m playing my drums tonight, in the backyard so that it doesn’t bother the other neighbors as much. That’s my problem is that the rest of my neighbors are great and I don’t want to annoy them while getting back at this jerk.
tommy on October 15, 2018:
my neighbour has a kid that fights his family and loud music so I took down the joining fence, my responsibility by law and I shit in my own yard, it annoys them too
KittyMeow on October 06, 2018:
@SumerRayne, such effort your comment holds, but... the disclaimer stated quite clearly this is purely satire... all in alleged "good fun"... not my cup of tea to be vengeful, but seriously, SR... chill. It's all good.
Kudos for caring and having a good heart. :) Just remember when others are being silly for silliness's sake... and remember to chill. :D
Anonymous on September 18, 2018:
Some of these pranks will get you shot. I'm just saying.
Mindy Mac. on September 10, 2018:
Some great ideas. Thank you.
John Doe on August 17, 2018:
JJ on August 09, 2018:
I am going to work hard to buy a comer lot house and buy the one beside it to put plants next time! To prevent fkers from spawning
cody young on July 30, 2018:
I have sn entitled neighbor. Claims hes a so called christian. Anyways, its a long story. Before my Grandma died shed let the neighbot walk his dogs over here for some reason and his dogs are seriously visciosus and dangerous. I let him walk them awlhile after my grandma died anyways one day his dog decided to jump on me and i told him to getboff private property. He got mouthy with me and told.me to get my mail box off his property. Our mailbox is on the county rd not his prooerty plus im in no authority to movr it since thats fedral. Cant stand entirled ppl. Im not against dogs but when they attack, thats enough.
nandor fred on July 06, 2018:
Spray their bike handles, wood pile, door handles, animals, washer, vents of their swamp cooler with round up. Give them all cancer and as they are sick, dying... do all the annoying shit this puke laughingly finds so clever.
Johne598 on June 23, 2018:
This website is mostly a walkby for all the info you wished about this and didnt know who to ask. Glimpse right here, and also youll undoubtedly uncover it. dgbgdeaacedk
Harry White on June 23, 2018:
We have bad neighbors on BOTH sides of our home. It took time but once we stopped reacting to them...the issues went away. They now focus their negativity on others. The Amish call it "shunning". Like I said it will take time for them to realize you no longer care what they do or say. Think of them as children. Any reaction they can get out of you gives them pleasure. Don't react, no matter how much you want to. Take my word for it. This method works. Just to be clear. I did everything to stop them ie police calls and one fist to the head. Now they are not renting space in our heads. A MUST : Never talk to them or even look at them. They are dead to us. And they feel the same way about us. We love it.
john Andrews on June 19, 2018:
I bought a double decker bus to replace a caravan he complained about
Drake on June 07, 2018:
Most of your ideas are illegal.
j mac on May 20, 2018:
a lot of your items are not legal so make sure your not breaking the law as 'you could find yourself getting sued along with going to jail . i certainly am amazed this kind of stuff gets on the internet and the person that wrote this hasn't been sued yet your an idiot
Mariah Mcconnell on May 20, 2018:
How can i stop a next door neighbor from coming over 24/7