25 Ways to Annoy Your Neighbors
Do You Have Annoying Neighbors?
I actually love my neighbors; they are the best. I have never had an issue or a grievance with them. As friendly neighbors, we have each others back. This is even true of the annoying ones.
Sure, they might not pick up their garbage can or recycling bins for a few days. They might not mow their lawn until the pets get lost in the tall blades of grass, but my nice neighbors mean well—the majority of the time at least.
Well, except for my neighbor with a sports car. For some reason, he enjoys idling and revving the engine for what seems like hours, but is just many minutes. Long enough to frighten my grandbaby while she is napping, but you know what they say about boys and their toys.
Just in case my neighbors are reading this, do not take offense. Please do not egg my house; I might need to borrow those eggs!
Other people aren't as lucky as I am. I've heard many tales from friends and family about how their neighbors could be rude, ruthless, and uncaring. I've heard stories of how selfish people could be.
It's time for some payback for them. These neighbors won't see you coming because they are too self-absorbed.
These are just harmless ideas. Most of them are fictional. I accept no responsibility should you decide to use one or more of these clever creations. This is all in good jest and satirical; please keep that in mind!
How to Make Your Neighbors Miserable
1. You could mow your lawn very early in the morning. Be sure to also use the leaf blower as often as possible. Leave no stone unturned and no leaf visible to the naked eye. You could also use a hedge trimmer or a chainsaw to do some yardwork, the louder the better.
2. You could have a few pizzas delivered to their address. When your neighbor refuses to pay because they didn't order them, tell the delivery driver that you'll buy them at a reduced price instead of them going to waste. Hey, it never hurts to ask.
3. Allow your pets to do their business in your neighbor's yard and don't use a pooper scooper. You could train your dog to poop directly where your neighbor would step out of his car. Yes, that has happened to a friend of mine. It wasn't intentional, just totally rude.
4. Doorbell ditch! Ring your neighbor's doorbell and then hide. Once they go indoors, wait ten minutes and then do it again. Then wait 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes. Then run like heck because chances are they are probably pissed and will be waiting for you on the other side of the door.
5. TP their tree! Tell them it's out of courtesy so now they won't run out of toilet paper. It's a bonus if it rains after you finish the job as that will make quite the mess!
6. Place rubber snakes around their garden beds. Have the video camera ready for when they leap. Post the video on YouTube.
7. When a solicitor knocks on your door to sell you something, rave about how much your neighbor likes the product or organization and show them where your neighbor lives. Tell them your neighbor is shy and might need some coaxing to admit it!
8. Late at night turn up the volume on your stereo and add some karaoke to the mix! Make sure it is not easy-listening music. Heavy metal and techno are great choices!
9. Paint your house a bright yellow. When confronted, go into a rant how about much you love sunshine, and you want to be surrounded by the rays of the sun! As a bonus, you could make your yard blue, and the yellow/blue combination will surely drive your neighbor crazy!
10. Keep your dog outdoors and allow it to bark 24/7. Be sure and give them food and water. You are intentionally trying to annoy your neighbors, but don't neglect your pet.
Rubber Snakes in the Garden!
How to Get Back at Noisy Neighbors
11. Park your car in their parking spot. If they say something just break out into Britney Spears song, "Oops, I Did It Again."
12. Set up a basketball hoop in your driveway and play b-ball at all hours of the day and night. Dribble the ball as often as you want!
13. Place a telescope near your window. Have it peeking through the curtains. Be sure your neighbor is aware of it. You are officially a "peeping tom."
14. Weed your yard in your swimsuit or your birthday suit. Most people can't pull this off. There is a woman in my neighborhood who mows her lawn in heels and jeans in 90-degree temps; I'll never understand that.
15. Roast a pig in a backyard pit. Be sure the wind is blowing in the direction of your neighbors open windows. The more smoke the better. Also, you can get a similar effect from having a massive bonfire in your backyard.
16. Place a trail of sugar to your neighbors front porch! The ants will appreciate it, your neighbors won't.
17. Plant a Weeping Willow tree in your yard, but close to your neighbors property. Watch your neighbor weep as they try to escape the cascading willows to find their way home.
18. Use their garden hose to fill your swimming pool and then have a pool party and invite them.
19. If they have a sprinkler system, redirect their sprinkler heads to water your lawn.
A Movie About Bad Neighbors
More Ways to Annoy Your Neighbors
20. If you live in an apartment and the tenants above you have heavy feet, use your broom handle to bang on the ceiling. While they are sleeping.
21. Bake a plate of brownies and add an extra ingredient that they'll be buzzing about. Be sure your neighbor doesn't have a drug test coming up soon!
22. Prune flowers from their garden and give your wife a bouquet. Who needs a florist?
23. Why pay for a wireless network? Just use your friendly neighbors unsecured Internet access!
24. Borrow their Sunday paper. Read it. Clip the coupons. Return their paper.
25. Be adults. Call a truce. Shake hands. Proceed to #1 and start again.
How to Make Your Neighbors Move
If you're really looking to take it to the next level, you can try your hand at doing something that will make your neighbors consider moving. Again, keep in mind these suggestions are all in good fun.
- Start putting out lots of food in your backyard to attract wild animals. Then cut a hole in your fence, so the animals go in your neighbor's backyard.
- While they are away, sneak over and drain their pool.
- Start dumping your food scraps in their yard. Not only will this be hard to clean up but it will attract more wild animals to your neighbor's yard.
- Get your child a drum set and have them practice at odd times throughout the day. Keep your window open or have them practice outside. The noise will drive your neighbors crazy.
- Hang a bunch of wind chimes on the outside of your house. That way when it gets windy, your neighbors won't be able to get a quiet moment.
- Give your neighbors a pair of Bluetooth speakers as a gift. Then use your device to blast music into the speakers at random times during the day. You can easily sync your device to the speakers so long as you are not too far out of range. You can also blast creepy sounds to make your neighbors think their house is haunted.
Neighbors From Hell
Bonus Tip to Annoy Your Neighbors
Start a Facebook group for your neighborhood. Each time a neighbor voices their opinion, pounce on them and ridicule their post . . . just for the fun of it!
Instead of encouraging friendly conversation, see who can be the first one to piss off the other members. Chances are you could weed out the most annoying neighbors within this group.
Have you ever had an annoying neighbor?
Questions & Answers
© 2012 Linda Bilyeu