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25 Ways to Annoy Your Neighbors

Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.

How to make your neighbors move away.

How to make your neighbors move away.

Do You Have Annoying Neighbors?

I actually love my neighbors; they are the best. I have never had an issue or a grievance with them. As friendly neighbors, we have each others' backs. This is even true of the annoying ones.

Sure, they might not pick up their garbage can or recycling bins for a few days. They might not mow their lawn until the pets get lost in the tall blades of grass, but my nice neighbors mean well—the majority of the time at least.

Well, except for my neighbor with a sports car. For some reason, he enjoys idling and revving the engine for what seems like hours, but is just many minutes. Long enough to frighten my grandbaby while she is napping, but you know what they say about boys and their toys.

(Just in case my neighbors are reading this, do not take offense. Please do not egg my house—I might need to borrow those eggs!)

Other people aren't as lucky as I am. I've heard many tales from friends and family about how their neighbors are rude, ruthless, and uncaring. I've heard stories of how selfish people can be. It's time for some payback for them. These neighbors won't see you coming because they are too self-absorbed.

Sometimes your neighbors really get on your nerves.

Sometimes your neighbors really get on your nerves.

How to Make Your Neighbors Miserable

1. You could mow your lawn very early in the morning. Be sure to also use the leaf blower as often as possible. Leave no stone unturned and no leaf visible to the naked eye. You could also use a hedge trimmer or a chainsaw to do some yard work, the louder the better.

2. You could have a few pizzas delivered to their address. When your neighbor refuses to pay because they didn't order them, tell the delivery driver that you'll buy them at a reduced price instead of them going to waste. Hey, it never hurts to ask.

3. Allow your pets to do their business in your neighbor's yard and don't use a pooper scooper. You could train your dog to poop directly where your neighbor would step out of his car. Yes, that has happened to a friend of mine. It wasn't intentional, just totally rude.

4. Doorbell ditch! Ring your neighbor's doorbell and then hide. Once they go indoors, wait ten minutes and then do it again. Then wait 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes. Then run like heck because chances are they are probably pissed and will be waiting for you on the other side of the door.

5. TP their tree! Tell them it's out of courtesy so now they won't run out of toilet paper. It's a bonus if it rains after you finish the job as that will make quite the mess!

TP-ing someone's house can work really well if they have trees and a large yard.

TP-ing someone's house can work really well if they have trees and a large yard.

6. Place rubber snakes around their garden beds. Have the video camera ready for when they leap. Post the video on YouTube.

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7. Sic the solicitors on them. When a solicitor knocks on your door to sell you something, rave about how much your neighbor likes the product or organization and show them where your neighbor lives. Tell them your neighbor is shy and might need some coaxing to admit it!

8. Late at night, turn up the volume on your stereo and add some karaoke to the mix! Make sure it is not easy-listening music. Heavy metal and techno are great choices!

9. Paint your house a bright yellow. When confronted, go into a rant about how much you love sunshine, and you want to be surrounded by the rays of the sun! As a bonus, you could make your yard blue, and the yellow/blue combination will surely drive your neighbor crazy!

10. Keep your dog outdoors and allow it to bark 24/7. Be sure and give them food and water. You are intentionally trying to annoy your neighbors, but don't neglect your pet.

Rubber snakes in the garden!

Rubber snakes in the garden!

How to Get Back at Noisy Neighbors

11. Park your car in their parking spot. If they say something just break out into Britney Spears song, "Oops, I Did It Again."

12. B-ball it up. Set up a basketball hoop in your driveway and play b-ball at all hours of the day and night. Dribble the ball as often as you want!

13. Place a telescope near your window. Have it peeking through the curtains. Be sure your neighbor is aware of it. You are officially a "peeping tom."

14. Weed your yard in your swimsuit or your birthday suit. Most people can't pull this off. There is a woman in my neighborhood who mows her lawn in heels and jeans in 90-degree temps; I'll never understand that.

15. Roast a pig in a backyard pit. Be sure the wind is blowing in the direction of your neighbors' open windows. The more smoke the better. Also, you can get a similar effect from having a massive bonfire in your backyard.

16. Place a trail of sugar to your neighbors front porch! The ants will appreciate it, your neighbors won't.

17. Plant a Weeping Willow tree in your yard, but close to your neighbor's property. Watch your neighbor weep as they try to escape the cascading willows to find their way home.

18. Use their garden hose to fill your swimming pool and then have a pool party and invite them.

19. If they have a sprinkler system, redirect their sprinkler heads to water your lawn.

A Movie About Bad Neighbors

More Ways to Annoy Your Neighbors

20. If you live in an apartment and the tenants above you have heavy feet, use your broom handle to bang on the ceiling. While they are sleeping.

21. Bake a plate of brownies and add an extra ingredient that they'll be buzzing about. Be sure your neighbor doesn't have a drug test coming up soon!

22. Prune flowers from their garden and give your wife a bouquet. Who needs a florist?

23. Why pay for a wireless network? Just use your friendly neighbors unsecured Internet access!

24. Borrow their Sunday paper. Read it. Clip the coupons. Return their paper.

25. Be adults. Call a truce. Shake hands. Proceed to #1 and start again.

How to Make Your Neighbors Move

If you're really looking to take it to the next level, you can try your hand at doing something that will make your neighbors consider moving. Again, keep in mind these suggestions are all in good fun.

  • Start putting out lots of food in your backyard to attract wild animals. Then cut a hole in your fence, so the animals go in your neighbor's backyard.
  • While they are away, sneak over and drain their pool.
  • Start dumping your food scraps in their yard. Not only will this be hard to clean up but it will attract more wild animals to your neighbor's yard.
  • Get your child a drum set and have them practice at odd times throughout the day. Keep your window open or have them practice outside. The noise will drive your neighbors crazy.
  • Hang a bunch of wind chimes on the outside of your house. That way when it gets windy, your neighbors won't be able to get a quiet moment.
  • Give your neighbors a pair of Bluetooth speakers as a gift. Then use your device to blast music into the speakers at random times during the day. You can easily sync your device to the speakers so long as you are not too far out of range. You can also blast creepy sounds to make your neighbors think their house is haunted.

Neighbors From Hell

Bonus Tip to Annoy Your Neighbors

Start a Facebook group for your neighborhood. Each time a neighbor voices their opinion, pounce on them and ridicule their post . . . just for the fun of it!

Instead of encouraging friendly conversation, see who can be the first one to piss off the other members. Chances are you could weed out the most annoying neighbors within this group.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

© 2012 Linda Bilyeu

Comments

andi on August 11, 2020:

so we have our neighbors right in front of our house and to get to the mail box we have to go in her yard and she tells us to get out of her yard and to stop leaving the gate door open!!!!!

Baby Pookie on August 11, 2020:

Has anyone heard about a device called the Mosquito?? It is an ultrasonic noise machine that emits a decibel that kids and i think people under 30 find unbearable. I would like to know where to purchase one of these or something similar as i just found out that schools in my area will not be opening so it means street hockey with pucks pinging my car and house and soccer so balls will be hitting my windows all to the glee of the parents who think their kids are so athletically gifted. To all the people who think these posts are mean spirited perhaps you would like to spend a day or two in our circumstance and see how long you last--we are not posting because we have great neighbors-we are posting because our neighbors are making our lives a living hell and even making it impossible for us to sell our houses or live a happy life. The parents are disrespectful pigs and think they own the neighborhood so thank you to all that have posted helpful suggestions.

Bearly Tame on August 07, 2020:

Create a long stick with a j type hook.

Buy fish from a Mexican market. The whole fish will be frozen. When the coast is clear place fish on hook and finagle it into the gutter. Inside the shrubbery along the walk way to the door. What a pleasant way to reach the front door, being assailed by the rotting odor.

Terry on August 07, 2020:

On one day of the week I had a tree service come to cut down two very tall pine trees in my backyard. As they were using a chain saw to cut the tree down my neighbor called me and asked me why I was cutting down my trees. I told her I didn't want them anymore because of all the pine needles and pine cones were dirtying my yard thats why. She was mad and now she doesn't talk to me anymore. She also said that her clients loved looking out her home window and see the tree branches blowing in the wind.

Mcguyver on August 04, 2020:

Simply an AM CB Radio thats been peaked and tweaked to swing more than 4watts and then hook the monitor speaker when you talk and key the mic... that causes terrible feedback and put a deep cycle 12 volt marine battery with it. Tape it all together put a magnet mount antenna on top of the cb place it somewhere they cannot find it heck put it in a box bury it and put the antenna somewhere in the trees ;p THAT DRIVES em CRAZY because any speaker hooked up or not gives off that feedback because its being transmitted at 45 watts. Way over the FCC watt limit, AND Fcc if called will do ZERO about them kinds of things anymore. They are on their own! Have fun! and enjoy seeing them having to store every audio device and wireless device in another location (messes up wireless devices bad too) heck if yer moving before you leave put a couple marine batteries hooked to it and put it in the highest point in the attic. Works fab... washes everyones electronics for blocks... esp if your near power lines and cable lines it disrupts all of it... tv internet.. 60hz freq on the 125vac lines its wreaks havok! Happy irritating!

Call child protective service on lawn kids on August 04, 2020:

Where are their parents and go back to run on your own lawn entitled a-hole. Parents who don’t watch their kids are neglecting them. I watched kids do stupid things and dumb parents stand by that. The type of breeders that need to be Nixed ASAP.

Anonymous in Upstate NY on August 02, 2020:

I have a neighbor that breaks every rule the landlord sets. He has knifed my convertible top.

I'm going to get some bright colored glitter and mix it with super glue and pour it on his car.

Hate my neighbour's on July 25, 2020:

My neighbour's always have loud music playing that I can hear upstairs far away from the garden and and they swear even tho i have young kids and talk really really really loudly and they also have a really really really loud dog yappy dog who barks and yaps all day long. there house is at the bottom of the garden! thank you for the tips!!

Kindness works better on July 20, 2020:

"Getting your neighbor to Move???? Seriously. I hope you are never my neighbor, because YOU are rather rude, yourself, suggesting all of these offenses. You do realize there are those who think these are "just a prank or joke". And then, they become neighborhood nuisances. People need to get a job and get a hobby. A USEFUL hobby.

smh.

David on July 19, 2020:

Or just feed the birds. Noisy birds will drive your neighbors crazy.

Suzy on July 17, 2020:

I am from middle east